Time for the weekly Demon update and corresponding drop in the number of people who give a shit!

“Are the Magic that crafty?”

The overall event was average, but Reigns taking out The Undertaker—and let’s be totally honest about his trash ring work over the past few years—gives Reigns all the heat he needs to keep eating the boos at live shows. From the Sports Illustrated interview that Triple H did:

So this is a reverse OSHA situation where the ladder was too safe?

Oh look, there’s THAT guy.

Yeah, and none of them jumped off a ladder through a man, through another ladder. That’s considerably more entertaining than the St. Louis Cardinals.

Why? Are the Dudleys coming, too?

Same for me. But only because I have no retirement savings and will probably work until I drop dead anyway.

Oh, I forgot one notable other alum:

He is 100% not the MVP of the Warriors. He’s the thing that makes them a great team instead of a very good one, and he’s one of the greatest second/third bananas ever already, but he’s not the most valuable player on the team, either this year or last year. I love him, but he’s not.

This is what happens when you focus too much on RPI and not enough on the sniff test.

Wait, someone with the last name “Fartass” is a only 3-seed? The committee is corrupt.

Seahawk fans are mildly excited at the prospect of FEAST MODE!

Hawks fan here. I don’t see a downside but I do see a lot of backside. 

Listen, if recent history repeats itself, PLENTY of Eddie Lacy is going to be in training camp for Seattle very soon.

Nope, pretty sure it makes that noise because it’s a Chrysler. It also does it when going forward or park. Sometimes with engine off.

fortunately both are alive.

Why do you say “fortunately”? The girlfriend, maybe.

SHE THREW THEM UNDER THE BUSS

After the game, Schröder put Dwight Howard in a box with a vial of poison to see if he could be simultaneously perceived as: