Lately, because my job is one nobody can really get rid of you in, I’ve been saying, “Rude”, “Nope”, and “Really?” to intensely rude questions. I get a lot of them because I’m trans, so after a while you can’t just keep redirecting that shit with a smile.

I have seen so many YouTube videos of redneck Trump supporters screaming racist and anti-Muslim shit at Indian dudes (particularly Sikhs wearing turbans).

As a brown person who gets called a Muslim by rabid assholes, I’m actually afraid of Trump’s followers going unhinged.

They were kicking around a random data fact this morning about how 45% of the country was prepared to not accept the results. While that theoretically wouldn’t interfere with the process, I could totally picture at least one side showing up to the inauguration, the white house, etc. and try to force their way in like…

Oh he knew I didn’t believe him, I just didn’t call him out every time. Lots of other people did that. I always felt that if he felt like there was someone that he didn’t feel the need to lie to it might help. His lies never put me in a bad situation or at risk or I would have called it out, so I was never burned…

Of course, there’s always the question of at what point you become an enabler that effectively allows a person to behave in unhealthy, alienating ways. On some level, that kind of thing has to be handled case-by-case. I have had close friends that I’ve had to let go—or separate myself from because I had reached a…

I’m not saying you shouldn’t walk away. I’m saying labeling people as psychopaths or toxic is a way of blaming them. It’s a way of suggesting they have complete control, that they are completely at fault, and therefore a, there’s no reason to feel bad about dropping them. Of course, it can be unhealthy to carry on…

I’m talking about the linked article. It’s not clear whether this Eric (who wrote that bit of hand waving into this post) is the same Eric behind the other blog, but the other article spends most of its words essentially building that there are psychopaths all around you and that if they fail this test, they’re…

Boundaries and expectations are always important. Whenever you meet a new person and they do something that irks you, like say they’re flaky about something you thought they were committing to do, you should immediately talk to them about it. Not saying anything and assuming they won’t do it again is going to do…

Oh, yes. I’m in the process of extricating a toxic presence from my life. He’s brilliant, talented, and amazing in so many ways, but is also an alcoholic, and suffers from chronic depression (and is not on medication). He claims that I’m his best friend, but also calls me rude, callous, indifferent, horrible,…

Why do you have to take it if they’re family?

Eh, a toxic personality, by definition, is someone who takes more from everyone they deal with then they could ever give back.

For me it comes down to this - are they genuinely and actively trying to control their own behaviour? Or, do they use their diagnosis as an excuse to act in ways that are narcissistic, abusive or otherwise toxic?

My answer to this is similar to that of another commenter: have very clear boundaries and expectations.

I think it’s about context. I have a very good friend who has terrible bouts of depression, she will often cancel plans last minute as a result. She’s also “lied” to people who don’t know her very well, saying something at work came up, etc because there’s still such a stigma around any form of mental illness, even…

People suffering from mental / personality disorders owe it to themselves and those they interact with to treat their illness, see a doctor, and do what they can to manage their illness.

Thank you for this comment. I have ADHD, PTSD (and related depression), so I can understand I’m probably not always the best friend to have. But I also don’t think anyone would consider me to be toxic, because my problems don’t present as manipulative, deceptive, or abusive behavior. If they did, I think it’s…

The article is clearly not about mental illness..it is about psychopathy and NPD. These people are all over the place. they are dysfunctional and/or antisocial in their behavior which may or may not be the result of a mental disorder. 

You can empathize with someone and still realize they’re a toxic person who’s hurting you without conscience. Its essential to be able to do that. Abusers always use kind people’s empathy against them. Whatever their problems are, if they start using you as a punching bag, you need to leave them to take care of…

I think this sentence is the key here: