As the final breath escaped the mountain lion’s lungs, he whispered defiantly, “My name is Mellencamp.”

Operator let his emotions get the better of him.  There is no excuse for this.  He could have saved an enormous amount of wear and tear on the tracks and idlers if he took 2 seconds to stabilize himself with the blade before having a go at the doors.  Equally, if he was working from a stable platform, he could have…

“Check Your Stock Portfolio Every Morning”

They’re secretly preparing for the next product, for people that want a little more than kisses... Hershey’s- Just the Tip.

Ya wth, you’re supposed to tip at counter service places? I will tip a dollar or something sometimes just to be nice but I definitely don’t think it should be regarded as if you have a waiter at a restaurant. 

Maybe the young’uns frankly don’t realize that they should still tip on a counter-service order.

No. Their employer is stiffing the staff. Customers should tip, but they are not responsible for complying with labor laws.

My rule: if I paid at a counter, I’m not tipping. Neither should these kids unless they’re sitting down with a menu, getting actual table service and paying at the end.

They can pry my cookie dough from my cold, dead hands. I’ve been eating it my whole life and have no plans to stop now.

...to fill in what used to be full size trucks 7 years ago.

and the Truckdor comes in the...NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

Look at all his majesty. Those peasants in their thatched roof cottages don’t stand a chance.

How do you stall a new vehicle with an automatic transmission?

So is my dishwasher just really crappy then? I feel I have to give everything a scrub before it goes into the machine or the dishes don’t actually get clean.

I hate headlines like this. I hate stories like this.

I’m not your buddy, guy.

Looks like the superintendent was hopping mad.

oh yeah, Kix.  we used to pick out the berry ones to eat first, and only grudgingly would eat the rest of the flavorless, hollow grief balls. 

You know the Frito Burrito is the better of the two, right? And it’s never been discontinued. And it’s a dollar.