I just started the first episode and what the hell is everyone talking about with the "rapid fire cocaine fueled comments?" There's several moments of long pauses and openings where jokes CLEARLY could have gone.

To be perfectly honest, there's a disturbing tendency for our military to view anyone and everyone we kill in the Middle East " a terrorist." And to be…strangely lenient to soldiers who blatantly go door to door massacring entire families and collecting ears (look it up, and be shocked that the best response our…

You guys are really, really jealous you'll never have a president you'll actually have fond memories of. WE GET IT.

Picture if Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ran for president, won, and then Robert Smeigel was fired and nefarious forces rule through his creation.

I mean, are you saying we DON'T train our military to see everyone and anyone in the Middle East as "the enemy" and when they come they're treated to an empty house and a country that doesn't give a shit about them?

Personally I though the cost would be Colbert going out one night and never coming back. "I remember a time when it wasn't illegal to mock the President, junior…"

I hate any man who's been on television for decades and still can't get through a sentence without giggling or slurring his words. Why do you have a job? Your job is to speak. But instead you go-its go-you goehehahheehehehaHAHAHAHA -Slaps the table—

They'll come face to face a bunch of times so they can show off that sweet, sweet technology.

It's…too chilling. Too accurate. Too much like what actually happened.

For a second I was bummed that we didn't get to hear Key and Peele's attempt at a midwestern dontchaknow accent.

-GIGGLES-
THE DUDE: The fuck is this guy's problem?

Either stopping by Lou's diner or Molly is finally chief of police.

Trump sexually assaults someone, democrats bring it up, republicans say democrats had no problem with serial sexual assaulter Clinton…and you know what? They're right. Sure, cheating on your wife isn't the same thing as sexual assault, but I'm talking about the assault cases Bill settled out of court. Constantly,…

I'm going to say something crazy: if Clinton had won, I have no doubt in mind that elements of this country would have, as Joe Walsh put it, "Grabbed their muskets" and taken to the streets to terrorize and murder people in the name of patriotism. Hell, I already have to listen to co-workers talk about forming armed…

I'm going to have to come clean here folks. I fall under the position of "if you ever had to pay someone off after they accuse you of sexual assault, you probably committed sexual assault because who the fuck rewards false accusations with tons of money?" And since Bill Clinton falls under this category, well…I can't…

Oh how I long for the day where no one gives a shit who you're parents were because this isn't a monarchy and honestly who gives a shit if your daddy paid someone to wipe your ass for you until you were 22, we're only hiring people who are QUALIFIED for this job.

I know we all like to kid around about that, but watching an adult man working in broadcast television throw a temper tantrum worse than any five year old because he couldn't UNDERSTAND something so simple is basically the avatar of baby boomers everywhere. It makes me fucking sick to think about.

I liked the first season but season two blows it completely out of the water. Once you look at as a story about a big corporation trying to bulldoze a small mom and pop family business…except that business is crime…with the added bonus of a frankly insane Kirsten Dunst housewife stabbing people…it's a hoot and a half.

Which is why I'll die laughing if he plays some no-nonsense FBI Agent from New York.

Jack is the kind of protagonist you want to have on a desert island but you'd never want to invite to a party.