This is John Cho. All other crush suggestions are invalid.

"Exposure" being the other one, in the entertainment field.

Ahh, "experience". The universal palliative for underpaying or not paying people.

Internet: You should also fuck his sister to get back at him.

I attribute it to genetic nuttiness, because their mother proceeded to then call my mother and tell her that it was somehow my fault that her children got it on. We never did figure out the logic behind that.

This is the entire reason Facebook was created. Fortify yourself with alcohol, search stealthily, and report back.

"Hmm. Well, on one hand, he always takes the garbage out and he has great abs and we both love dogs, but, on the other hand, he's kind of fucking his sister a little bit. What should I do, internet?"

My boyfriend in high school who I thought was the love of my life banged his sister. And she got pregnant.

Gurl. Do we have to tell you to dump a sister fucker?

Because you're a young girl with a fractured life and a history of abuse who's hoping to hold onto some fragment of normalcy?

Oh hey, if your standards included the man who raped your child, then you could probably score a boyfriend too.

Suddenly blowing your dealer counts as cheating?

A former co-worker of mine left her own wedding reception to file paperwork to annull the marriage after her bridesmaid walked in on the groom getting a blowjob from one of the waitresses hired for the reception. I cannot even imagine.

This is why I'd rather live in a cardboard box underneath a bridge and a day old, stale piece of bread and a bottle of my own piss than have a roommate ever again.

The worst one I've seen was a military contractor - former Navy sailor - who slept with a married junior enlisted soldier ten years younger than him in Afghanistan, got her pregnant, got her kicked out of country for the pregnancy and prosecuted for committing adultery (an offense under military law), which ended her…

The reason he was crying? This is the bottle.

I have a friend who is a manager at a Texas Macy's, and she posts every time some asshole shits in a dressing room. She posts a new "shit in the dressing room" rant almost bi-weekly. Different people, not just a serial pooper. There are this many people who think it's totally fine to shit in a dressing room.

Someone sitting next to me at a play years ago threw up in her purse and then just sat there for the rest of the play like it was NBD.

Not so much "awful" as "bafflingly stupid", but while I was in the process of divorcing my first husband, his attorney called me up and left a long-winded threatening message on my answering machine. Yeah, the kind with a tape.