Ha. I'm a proud UC alum. We like to poke fun at our neighbors to the north. :)

You need to capitalize the t in "the", missy.

"you fucking pustule" may be the best insult I've heard all day.

Right? Though that leaves the lady-rubbing out. No sperm and all. But ladies don't like sex anyway, right?

and we all know what happened to Onan.

So, like, in his world view, being "obsessed" with donating sperm is a way to justify being a normal dude who likes to masturbate. Totally makes sense.

yes, exactly. it doesn't make you any more/less queer to marry/partner with someone of either sex. It just makes you... bisexual!

That lion does exactly what my fat cat Mooch does when the neighborhood boy kitty sits outside our door staring inside. Outdoors cat? Unperturbed.

Yup, I now do the same thing (as well as those pills that relax your bladder and make your pee BRIGHT orange) and I also make sure to buy a gigando bottle of water to drink on flights. It really helps. But man, that was a miserable, miserable trip.

It was actually in San Mateo, so I guess not exactly SF. It looked REALLY new though.

That's what I do too. It has to be that first hint, that first TWINGE of UTI, or else I'm calling my East Coast doctor from a hotel room in SF at 6 AM while simultaneously battling a really bad cold. I, of course, didn't bring my insurance card which confused the heck out of the Target pharmacy (which didn't open…

Make that three. I identify with her way too much and it makes me a little uncomfortable.

yes. they are SO GOOD. I hate taking horse pills (especially vitamins which make me burp grossly) so these are a godsend.

oh my god. that is tooooo cute. He's like, "Yo. Do I have to get those doritos myself?"

I learned this from a Jezzie: animals are opportunistic lying liars. They're programmed to get food whenever they can. Don't fall for it! I finally convinced my husband that our cats no longer needed to free feed as Mooch (aka Mr. Tubbykins) was 19 pounds. He's now down to 17 and can clean his own butt. This is a…

Your kitty is big boned. I'm not just saying that. He's a big boy! My 17 pound cat is mostly chub.

and comes in NARS packaging!

Printing and shipping are expensive, but not half the price.

amaaaazing.

Unless I'm with a doctor the morning after (because he stayed over), that ain't happenin'.