Glowfusion Microtech Intuitive Bronzer in Luminous. Cheap and magical. I buff it on my forehead, over the cheekbones and nose, then swipe the jawbones. Pores are minimized, skin glows.

I couldn’t figure out why the story was about kitchens. Now I gotta go find my own kitten pics.

Trump is going to create jobs. In four years, environmental clean up will be the fastest growing industry in the United States. I can only pray that health care (vs health insurance) will rival that.

Actually, it takes 3 minutes for me: concealer, blush, highlight my cheekbones, and buff on some super light bronzer that if it’s ever discontinued I will die. But I don’t have high definition cameras focused on my face.

I can’t believe someone wants credit for it.

How does buying one item from these presumably lovely people prevent four items from going to a landfill?

How does buying one item from these presumably lovely people prevent four items from going to a landfill?

AskYourMother is right, if there aren’t old lady emoji there shouldn’t be ANY.

Don, can I call you “Don”? When we hired you, we just hired you, get it? Stop bringing your kids to work every day.

Oh for crissake, United is just trying to make things nice.

Not just well-respected, fucking legendary. I watched the interview this morning and was incensed. I am officially old. That goddamned smug self-satisfied asshole. Oh, fer chrissake I can’t find a fuckin’ emoji for shaking my old lady fists. You millenials are ruining everything.

Maybe you would be more confident about wearing it if you added a coordinating full length cape?

Today is an awesome day because my friends who are hanging on by a thread have access to health insurance. Seriously, I was losing sleep.

For the Goddess’ sake, somebody find the video of Snooki’s speech.

They have Tates at Costco and they’re OK. I’d substitute Nabisco chocolate wafers. Now I have to make that damned cake. Fortunately, I have espresso powder leftover from some other adventure.

I know how to cook, and I can bake when forced to do so. What I want is to snuggle in a comfy chair while Ina cooks for me while cooing about what she’s doing.

The soundtrack to “Home Alone” is on constant rotation in my house and car at Christmas. Thanks a lot, Bobby.

My point is that particular piece of pie is sad. Stupid sad. We all pay taxes, in one way or another. Millionaires aren’t going to get a $100,000 break thanks to cutting Medicaid etal.

I personally hope she achieves a level upon where she doesn’t think of him at all

$374 million is equivalent to about $1.25 per person in the United States. What are you going to do with your windfall of 12¢ a year?

The riot act was read to management, who uncomfortably fawn over us every time we go there (which is often). The charge was per item, and the quantity was equivalent to a garnish on the plate. A bunch of cilantro averages 69¢ in the grocery store, and it takes one second to tear off some leaves and stuff them in a…