You can’t spell special without ACL

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

I mean, pretty much everything is covered in fecal bacteria. I’m a preschool teacher (which exposes me to one gajillion times more fecal matter than the average office job) and I almost never get sick. At some point you have to stop freaking out about it and live your life.

Unless you are bringing your own sponge, I would suggest bringing your own stuff for that too. For some reason, people just go full retard when they are in the office kitchen. A prime example was when a guy stepped in something outside the building, then decided the best tool to get that crap off his shoe was the…

Wash my mug?? Are you kidding me? Maybe its my Navy upbringing but how else am I suppose to season the damn thing then?

Also, if you work in a place where there are communal mugs, bring your own. When a nasty flu ripped through the office a few years back, the only people that seemed to dodge it were the ones that had their own mug.

Community sponges? Eww. Just grab a couple of paper towels and some hot water from the tap. Works every time, but I only drink it black.

Dude, if I were the poor sister I would tell bride sister to absolutely take rich sister’s money. Then we could split the cash to go do something awesome just the two of us. And if we’re feeling bitchy we could plaster pics all over Facebook of our great time together. We could even tag mean sister like, “Without Mary…

I made my first ever batch of sous-vide hard boiled eggs last weekend, and despite my supreme confidence that it would result in the best eggs that I have ever made, it did no such thing.

I believe it is a Scottish herding dog that immigrated to Ireland after Brexit.

“a legal editor in a hidden kingdom of batshit crazy conservative financial publishing.”

Few classes of people in this world are as batshittedly convinced of their own influence and importance than college newspapers nerds and jesus fuck I miss that world so goddamn much I’m 32 and my DEEP AND IMPORTANT COLLEGE NEWSPAPER EXPERIENCE made me a legal editor in a hidden kingdom of batshit crazy conservative…

As a man, I have a great idea.
If women would like to be heard more in the workplace, when one woman makes a point, the other women in the room should reiterate the idea and credit the initial speaker.

A GREAT POINT MADE BY MY COLLEAGUE STASSA and furthermore LET’S ALL LISTEN TO WHAT STASSA JUST SAID

hell-a (/ˈhelə/)
adv.
1. Wicked

Yeah, but, not for free. This is the NFL, for God’s sake.

Wait, the punishment is not being allowed *in* Levi’s Stadium? You sure you heard him right?

Your question seems to presume there’s a downside to enabling idiots on the field.

2/5 hellas