Psssht, THANKS....yeah, REALLY needed to know this for a job interview. *thumbs up, dick-ish smirk on face, condescending tone*

Actually, no. You only have a right for arms.

Top notch writing, based on Land Rover stories I’ve read would be considered non-fiction.

2 am in Florida, Feds including ICE agents quietly line up outside a quiet, unassuming white import shop. They place chains on the large overhead door which are firmly attached to the back of an acquired MRAP. With a solid tug and wail from the diesel powered behemoth, it rips the entire door and parts of the wall…

Campari is how you separate the adults from bros icing bros.

Well as my dad always said, it takes all kinds to make the world go round. There’s people that have expensive brushes or just flat-out like the one they are using...those people have a very good case for not just buying another cheapo brush from CVS or Amazon. Then there’s the green types whose hatred of waste is…

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

Alternately, just buy another one at CVS for 7 bucks. Cheaper than your time + wasted shampoo + ruined toothbrush.

I consider it to be more of a hobby. My true calling is subversive arts and crafts. I can kill a man with a popsicle stick.

Can I be a destroyer of best practices, and god of inefficiency instead?

I recommend adding that your are a god of best practices, destroyer of inefficiency, and that you once ISO 9000 certified a company with your cock.

Of COURSE! The reason I haven’t had time to pursue my interests is because I’ve been using the wrong VERB and not because my shitty job has mandatory overtime and I can’t afford to quit due to the country’s shitty medical system. Thank you, Lifehacker. My problems are solved.

I don’t make time, I eat time! I shit distance! I piss speed! I shoot depth out of my eyes like laser beams!

If you do happen to break down before making it to the shoulder, do what you can to make it super obvious that the car has stalled!

Alright. Been tinkering with dashcams since March and here’s what I’ve learned:

Hospitals are pretty stingy nowadays and not everyone qualifies for provided scrubs. Most are brought from home. I’ve seen them for sale at Walmart for pretty cheap, about $5 per piece. So knock yourselves out, folks! Looney Tunes scrubs for everyone!

I never knew of the vending machines as well. My most recent ex is a nurse at a retirement home, and she buys her own, but she’s also tiny, so she probably has no choice.

The hospital I worked at mandated different colors depending on department. Sort of a caste system I suppose. I *think* you could choose your own top if you wanted, but not sure since I was in IT which was khakis (covered in toner ink normally because fuck HP laserjets) and polo

I’m the real idiot because I assumed everyone bought/brought their own scrubs.

Once in a mostly empty theater waiting for a movie to start, I felt an ill wind brewing. So when the lights went down, in that moment of silence before the film started, I lifted a cheek and let loose a mighty blast - loud, long, and even a little modulated so it went higher at the end. It was timed perfectly.…