Yes! I sent this tip. As someone who knows Stacey Newman personally, I can attest that she is one of the most kick-ass women I have ever met. She is always fighting the good fight for women in Missouri, and is someone we can all be proud of. Plus, she’s super nice, smart, and funny.

I’d snap too if nobody in that whole stadium could help me get ready for the game by opening this childproof cap.

As usual, more F-35 drivel. This time using test pilots to supposedly shame the program.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

30 years ago. I’m old.

The guy is okay, but the woman is awful from the second she sits down. Nothing is good enough for her, she’s not ready to order when she says she’s ready, she won’t make eye contact—the sort of completely entitled person who thinks servers are lower than dog shit. It takes her a lifetime to make up her mind on…

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

Can we go ahead and get “That’s just what millionaire assholes do,” emblazoned on the NFL Shield logo?

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

Some people are probably going to be uninspired by John’s answers because so many of them seem...uninspiring, but I think they’re effing fantastic.

They understand how reservations work, but think that the word revolves around them and that the normal rules don’t apply.

I know it’s the internet, so being an asshole is the norm, but UAB is one of the top 150 undergraduate schools in the country according to US News. On top of that instate tuition is less than 10k per year and out of state tuition is less than 25k. Not everyone is going to be a professional golfer and I’m sure this kid…

Oh my god! I may be allergic to red! I am one of those people I hate!

I’m immediately sad I didn’t make a Kitchenette themed one. DOING IT ANYWAY.

The hottest new thing in Moniga del Garda is La Scaletta. It has everything. Customers who shouldn’t have eaten that, people who follow the servers around and tell them how to do it better, everyone also works at Olive Garden but they all…

The hottest new thing in Moniga del Garda is La Scaletta. It has everything. Waiters that whisper the specials breathlessly in your ear, pizza cubes, chairs made of shitty tippers, entitlement cocktails, lamps that look like upside-down boobs, ice with messages inside about everything you did wrong in your childhood,…

now, now, let the ladies keep their secrets

I don’t know. I’m a white guy helping to raise a Rosemary plant. Are you saying I’m not half-delicious?