In 1993, if somebody threw a beer bottle at a Phillies player there’s a good chance they were asked to, because the dugout keg was empty.

It really is quite sad; it wasn’t long ago that righties were afraid to throw anything at Howard.

At least Giancarlo Stanton has gone on strike until conditions improve.

Pretty sure “Scherzer” is now a euphemism for “big, swingin’ cock.”

Rocket, Wood, Unit, and now Scherzer.

Sounds like college was a lot of fun!

Obligatory

Opposition on-base percentage: 0.420

New headline: Phillies propensity for KKKs leads to the Birth of a Nation-al League contender.

that wasn’t the devil. that was your dick.

“...there are situations, inside that situation, where it has nothing to do with the situation, but I could have done better.”

Yo, since we ALL know how big a sports fan God is, I can’t help but think the win by Villanova is a clear rebuke of North Carolina’s bullshit discrimination bill, right?

Wasn’t 1 painful shot at the horn enough for that guy?

Not big on walls though.

And spelling.

This is a good start, if women’s sports want to be equal to men’s

As a sign of solidarity, Wambach’s former teammate Hope Solo murdered a homeless man.

The parody becomes even more on-point when you learn he wasn’t paid for this.

As long as you don’t need to write the correct answer.