Life goals. For real, though.

I don't see 'pegging' in my two states, so I'm calling complete bullshit.

"Youth Asylum" would be the best John Hughes movie about a grunge HS.

Glitter-mas! More glitter!

Tweet Beat has shown me that I should be best friends with Gabourey Sidibe, Josh Groban, Anna Kendrick, and Retta. And fuck buddies with John Stamos.

Oh Gabourey Sidibe you are my spirit animal.

Duck off, Martha. There's mothering wrong with autocorrect. Quit ditching about nothing.

I think it would have to be somebody I don't talk to anymore, because I would have far too many questions than would be politely comfortable.

As far as I know, I don't know anybody that has ever done any sex work. But I guess going by probability there has to be at least one person, right?

I had to leave my cubicle i was laughing so hard from the first gif.

I can still be funny!

Now I'm stuck with the hard decision of my previous plans or unsexy cartoon coitus. Strictly for scientific curiosity, of course.

Magnificent boob control, and her makeup game is Taylor Swift-level. Exquisite.

I'm both intrigued and horrified. And I might have to save that creepy search for the morning in order to not kill this vibe I've got going on at the moment.

Oh well small words and noises, sure! Just not full-on sentences and talking to myself. Who knows, though...I can totally get lost in the moment. And I almost made a pokemon joke, but second-guessed myself!

Well god damn, that does sound like fun! The talking just isn't sexy when you're by yourself. But I think it is the first sign of some serious problems *haha*.

I've always wondered that, because it seems like genital piercings are definitely something you'd have to get used to. And that sounds like far too much work for me. Like when somebody tells me that something I find disgusting will get better if I just do it more often...just seems very counter-intuitive. What was…