Didn't know I was. Sorry.

I am writing some erotica and a neighbor loaned me Erotica from Penthouse III for research. I quote:

You can! That dream is not dead.

I need 4 hours of making out and I am in my 30s. I crave it.

There's a lot I don't hear about on Jezebel, but I never feel like women are always depicted as victims.

I should confess that I have a Sleeping Beauty collection (like Disney souvenirs from the sixties and snowglobes visible in my house), so I am a freak. I also like re-imaginings. That said, the CGI was stank, but I was touched by a lot of the storyline. The costumes for maleficent are fab. Needed more Tchaikovsky.…

Crap, I meant Hollywood Babylon.

I thought Karl Lagerfeld was a wax figure and then I thought the same thing about Rutger. I need to know more old men. Apparently, I can't spot a real one.

Have you seen Hollywood ?

I'm somewhat torn because I did have my life redeemed through motherhood. Honestly. I think that often tropes are realities for some people.

Just got back from Maleficent and left humming this.

Umm ... except they aren't?

Graham Elliot did a first for me: lost over a hundred pounds and just looks like a smaller version of himself. So many stars lose weight and look like aliens. OK, maybe just Star Jones.

It's like no one involved in this conversation has watched America's Next Top Model or heard of "smizing."

If they weren't first tipped off by the fact that that man isn't prince Harry, yes.

Oh! I have been desperately waiting for someone else to know about this and to write about it. I felt so alone. Thank you!

This person was all about Pam Anderson and women in porn being victims the other day. They don't react well to criticism and they can't argue logically. It's like communicating with one big amygdala.

Yes. That's the joke.

I meant cue. I was expressing that it was time for those people to play their part. I did not mean it was time for them to line up.

Or he needs cash and donated plasma.