Wow. Those audience members are so on the nose.

And the claim that you can wear them if you are heavy? Yeah, no. What my stomach fat does not need is it's own curtain.

I would also choose Dave Holmes. Man, how I love him.

Introducing The Sexually Harassing Drone:

Wow. Firstly, none of them really look like the star they are aiming for. Sorry not sorry, Venus.

Garfield? Cleveland is clearly the president most likely to inspire rabid fandom. Sheesh. Amateurs.

That's a good point. Now, I am picturing you weepily making your way out of your trailer to get noms while Kim comes tearing out of hers screaming about Ali Macgraw.

Even if the movie was released 44 years ago?

My best friend in junior high lived in a trailer park with her mom, Kim; their park's ice cream truck played the theme from Love Story and this infuriated Kim. She would run out of the trailer screaming at the truck. "She dies! She has Cancer! Who the fuck wants ice cream when they think about cancer?"

My best friend in junior high lived in a trailer park with her mom, Kim; their park's ice cream truck played the theme from Love Story and this infuriated Kim. She would run out of the trailer screaming at the truck. "She dies! She has Cancer! Who the fuck wants ice cream when they think about cancer?"

They pick the oddest pictures of the celebrities to use on the "Celeb" page. Each row is like two yearbook photos and then some shirtless guy thrown in.

Apparently, he had to clear out a sink full of face.

I worked at a coffee shop near a Goodwill and people would buy new (to them) clothes and come to our shop to change into what they bought and to leave their old clothes in the bathroom. On more than one occasion, I had to clean out excrement or blood covered clothes from the bathroom. But, I didn't have it that bad.…

Any suspicions any of us have are based on photos and second hand reports. We don't know him. What are you? His shadow? In his entourage?

I am sure that Jennifer Esposito is trying to express something really emotional, but when you take a cliched experience and write about it with cliches ("master mainpulator") AND fuck up the cliches ("flip on a dime"?), that's not writing a book. It's like she just transcribed all the talkingheads form a Vh1 dating…

How is a hand made drawing a consumer act? Jarvis would have been all for that.

Frank is consistently my favorite Root.

This is abortion glee:

I am imagining it as a burlesque costume that is in mid transition.

Is NPH supposed to be the emcee from Cabaret?