This Dirtbag has me so torn. I am struggling between high levels of "Ugh, fucking Zack Braff Again?" and "Yay, Dulé Hill. Finally."

Turlington, at this point, functions more as a celebrity model than a professional one, meaning that she is hired because of who she is as a person, rather than her aptitude for being a human hanger (although she is still apt in that regard as well). This is likely what leads her to comment "But then I thought that…

I did not, but I did go to the same high school.

Represent.

Think vegetarian baby parents in the seventies. Lots of homemade carrot baby food and carrot juice in a bottle. It was a different time and they were probably high.

The use of second person in the title doesn't work. I spent the entire article waiting for the point where this was about my t shirt. Spoiler alert: it never was about the t shirt I am wearing right now.

I was under a year old. Is that still an infant?

As an infant, I developed carotenemia. That seems pretty natural for a redheaded vegetarian infant in the seventies. But, my parents were freaked. If only they had known how much hotter it made me. I am sure they would have calmed down.

Featuring:
Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc - Wake Me Up
Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man
Capital Cities - Safe & Sound
Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams - Get Lucky
Eminem feat. Rihanna - The Monster
Florida Georgia Line feat. Nelly - Cruise
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Imagine Dragons - Demons
Jay-Z feat. Justin Timberlake - Holy…

My only choices are Nickelback and fun? What sick Sophie's choice is this.

Kid to English translation:

I hope that is a pattern that will continue in future.

I am neither interested in knowing him for his opinions nor in knowing the 'real' him.

I was just relieved to make it out of this one without being inundated with the band fun.

Correct me if I'm wrong (no. really.), but he does one every year, right? This feels like an annual thing.

You are not alone.

I am going with butterface on this one, until the day I die.

I accept that other people find her hot, but, I never, ever have. I don't get it (beyond her body).

Tyra Banks would call her out for being a "no neck monster."

Is it because she is supposed to be so cool? I feel like she is marketed as a chill, sporty girl and she might be exactly that. But, I also don't think the men who date her are overlooking how hot her body is and that's left out of most stuff about her.