Thank you for your continued support of Elliott Smith.

To be fair to the kid, the only reason he even drives that tractor in the first place is because he kept falling off the wagon.

I don't understand how a dog attacking a human child and a dog attacking a squirrel are remotely the same. Dogs have been selectively bred by humans, to accept and protect humans, for thousands of years. A beloved family pet can deposit dead birds on your doorstep regularly, yet never even think to growl at an…

So wait, he now has half of what he had going in? I think my ex-wife invented that trick.

This is like the only post ever where this would be an appropriate comment.

nah. the very fact that they are golfers means they're assholes. anyone who is not an asshole wouldn't consider golf as a hobby or way of life

If you can't write a sentence with basic correct grammar when your job is professional writer you probably can't afford this.

After V. mentioned 20/20, Donald angrily replied that he didn't really care how the 40 acres were parceled out.

yeah, but this is the same city where idiots lined up for cronuts, too, so no big surprise there.

I wonder if he goes to the same doctor, or did he have to Shop Around?

You know you fucked up when you make American Airlines look like the good guys by comparison.

BROS KICKBALL IN CHICAGO TOO!

Give Danica a break. That was the first time she ever saw someone in her rearview mirror.

ummmmmmmmmmm.... isnt it a little RACIST of you to assume that just cause this kid lives in rio di janeiro that he is poor and also has no father????

These Hearhawks Fans Tried To Listen To Last Week's Game In Total Darkness, For $5k

"Yeah, you always have to cut a cheque that's ten times bigger when they start making noise."

You could save 15% or more by switching to Costco

Across town, the Cubs continue to check-in at hotels using the alias Majorleague Baseballteam.

They root for frozen tundras. Or, they abandoned the Steelers when they abandoned Palin.