It’s an urban myth. My good friend is an OB and she says this is a load of old shit.

I went to school with a kid named Sir. He was very popular.

I genuinely laughed out loud at my desk.

The sun rarely shines here, the beaches where you don’t have to wear wellies & waterproofs, and Americans are friendly.

I came back to the US for a family bereavement in March. I couldn’t wait to get back to the UK.

I’m an American in Manchester and it was beyond fucking crass. We can’t parse this, because we’re shocked it happened here. Two of my son’s friends were at the concert. One unhurt’ one with minor injuries from shrapnel.

This happened 15 -20nminutes from where I live. Two of my son’s friends were there’ one was unhurt; one has minor injuries. We are shaken badly.

No. She really doesn’t sound like she has a British accent at all.

My daughter is black, but doesn’t look it at all. My dad said she’s going to hear a lot of shit when she’s around white people when she’s older. He said he hopes she knows how to fight.

My cat Schnitzel waits by the door for me. I was away for 6 days week before last and the cats seemed to know I was going somewhere. Chowder the cat literally got into the shower with me one day. They both run over themselves to get to me, but Schnitzel will sit on me as soon as I sit down. She doesn’t like anyone but…

My vagina would run screaming out of the place.

Ooh, the long piss with the door open! If you’re lucky, he’ll do a sad little clown fart while he’s pissing! Marriage is wonderful.

Can’t beat that morning fart from a man that’s nearly 50!

I saw one at a bizarre restaurant on a night out with colleagues. A table near us was having a bachelorette party and this horrible male stripper turned up. It was super gross, but I could not stop laughing.  

My husband will be 60 when our daughter is 18. I’ll be 52. Eighteen is legal drinking age here and she won’t be in college yet. He said he’s happy one of her brothers will be 26 and the other will be 20.

Yep. No one thought I would have kids. For some reason, my family thought I disliked kids. I don’t, I actually really love children. I love being a mother. I actually liked giving birth, liked breastfeeding, liked everything but pregnancy.

I’ve met so many men- young men- that can’t wait to be dads. Granted, a lot of these men see it from the sheer fun angle. I’d have Duggar levels of pregnancies if it were up to my husband.

25, 32, 34. The difference is shocking.

I had my first kid at 25 and that was a “surprise!” kid. I didn’t believe baby fever was real until I was 31 and then needed to get pregnant on the spot. Like I couldn’t even function properly because I wanted a baby so goddamned badly. It’s very weird when it happens.

Why the fuck would anyone have a song that was called “Tears in Heaven” at their wedding? I remember when that happened and it was like the saddest thing in the fucking world. Like, you would have had to have lived in a cave not to know that or to not have seen/ heard Eric Clapton’s “Unplugged.”