And thank God for that!

I hate block parties and actively avoid talking to my neighbors, but if you had a block party with Ted Cruz’s and Rand Paul’s neighbors, I would set up permanent residence wherever that was. I would even take a helping of green jello mold with floaty bits.

Translation: an exploratory committee was commissioned on the DL, and she tested very poorly in focus groups.

Well yes, now that you mention it.  

“Thank God, Ivanka Trump Isn’t Planning to Run For the Senate”

So his wife is as selfish and clueless as he is. What a perfect match.

Aside from the pack of absolute assholes who keep voting for him, you mean? 

“Ted Cruz’s Neighbors Must Really Hate Him?”

Wow, that is a pretty lame ass response from Ted. I did it to escort my daughter??? So the wife isn’t capable of doing that without him? Never mind that there is a pandemic, no travel is in place.... and Mexico??? Ted, you really are an imbecile. And I hope it costs you your senate seat. You deserve all the bad karma…

Even the other blobfish hate him.

I can’t even figure out why/how these flights were going to begin with.

Yes to all of these things.

At the end of the day, if Tom Brady had lost in the Super Bowl this year and abruptly cut off a post-game press conference, the same questions and criticisms would have followed him. Williams is an all-time great athlete (perhaps the all-time great athlete of our age) but nothing about any of this particular story scre…

No, just disgusted.

Am I really supposed to be surprised right now?

As a very cold and mildly hungry Dallasite, I’ll say that Cruz being out of the country is not not helpful.

I am so confused. Ted Cruz is evil, but he’s not stupid. And this is just so obviously the absolute last thing someone in his position should be doing during a historic disaster in his home state.

He could go to Cancun and tell his constituents that the purpose of his visit was to kill 1000 kittens and they wouldn’t bat an eye.

Not heartbroken in the slightest.

Funny, when I heard that at last that old fuck was dead, the first thing I thought of was my father as well. I was 17 when Limbaugh first came into my life. My dad loved to listen to him on the radio. He’d talk about how someone had finally come along to tell it like it is. I remember washing the car while Limbaugh…