“First of all, I think it’s dangerous for you to think that the President Donald John Trump this man was referring to was Donald J. Trump, the President of the United States. He never clarified and I have it on good authority that the Donald John Trump he was referring to was actually the president of a sporting goods…

More recently, Lin is accused of threatening that “the time will come when Miami will burn to the ground

I would pay for a Superhero expansion. The whole Thor living as a roommate bonus content for the MCU was hilarious.

The magic was there all along. It was in each and every one of us.

Voight-Kampff. Tremendous actor. Real winner. And a hot daughter, just like me. Good guy. Very, very good guy.

this was a quite the rabbit hole....

Meanwhile, in a fetid, unfinished basement cubicle, Stephen Miller looks up from his rat chow for a bare instant and mutters, “Fuckin’ amateurs” as he redrafts his new one-drop immigration policy.

“You find a tortoise on its back...”

Just a perfectly normal, casual, spontaneous Twitter photo of two normal people walking the fields alone, probably just resting their iPhone on a tree branch that happens to be perfectly situated for this stunning photo. And, oh, look, they captured the sunset at the perfect moment! Yup, just a couple wearing their…

Dude come on...it obviously was. He corrected himself immediately. You don’t have to like Biden (I don’t) but you don’t have to attribute the worst possible motives to him based on a very obvious mistake.

I’m not interested in writing off Joe’s slips as some sort of old man brain. He’s done this same exact shit the whole time. Despite the fact you think it makes him unfit, it just plays into that bumbling lovable uncle persona too many people are dazzled by. Trump, on the other hand, has had visible deterioration of his…

If you look too deep, you may find Zuul.

Look deep into a person’s refrigerator and it’s like looking deep into someone’s soul.

3 - slam his head in fridge door while channeling your inner Joe Pesci

My soul is nearly empty but has an eight-piece fried chicken bucket bought on sale today untouched that’s being chilled for tomorrow’s breakfast.

At my place, I’d hang back and chuckle evilly; hoping he was willing to play Russian Roulette with the antique leftovers in my fridge.

Like I been to a lot of parties where the beers were in the fridge. Helping yourself isn’t crazy. Going through tupperware is crazy.

My soul is almost always empty with a few leftovers, yet too many sauces? :)

“...it’s a price to pay for being hospitable.”

Look deep into a person’s refrigerator and it’s like looking deep into someone’s soul.