Unlike the sherriff, you clearly crossed the line.

I bet this guy has, like, the biggest dick ever.

Richland County sheriff Leon Lett has already spoken on the incident, telling WIS-TV, “the officer really dropped the ball here.”

“My offer is nothing. That’s promo code: NOTHING.”

I wouldn’t get too upset. It’s not like it’s permanent. It’s just going to cost a little money to get rid of it all.

You just can't leave your kid home all the time. He’ll grow up all twisted and weird and eventually become the NFL commissioner

I hope I never get so drunk that I confuse beer with bathwater.

I hear the Cubs are just going to leave that bat on top of the video board.

This better?

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

Due to the increase in violence of these threats, the safety of our children is the main concern.

Jesus fucking Christ. Then move out of Wrigleyville. Did you not know there was a stadium there when you signed your lease? Or did you just want easy access to the weekend fist-pumping douchebag Brofest that is Clark Street?

The Met fan suffered serious injuries after a Dodgers fan slid into him in an attempt to break up the fight.

It’s all part of the 12-step program. Just as soon as you’re 12 steps out of the building, they fire your ass.

As a huge Mets fan, I think a more fitting punishment would’ve been to require the Dodgers to play Utley every inning the rest of the way.

That immediately makes me care about Bill Simmons again. He’s a really really good talent-spotter. And maintainer, I guess. His own content is too smug and insecure, but I think he knows where his true talents lie.

I’m 18 months older and replied “Amen, man. A-fucking-men.”

What exactly do people have against masterbating in public? If you dont like it, dont do it.

My daily fantasy consists of both of these companies going away.