I really want this as a bumper sticker.

It's only libel if it's untrue. Let him try! The more he's distracted filing stupid-ass lawsuits, the less he can damage the country.

EXACTLY!

It's brilliant how much complaining is going on in this comments section from people who clearly aren't in on the joke.

Because that would be like calling ourselves the "Decent and Rational Person Club". It really isn't even a thing that should have to be stated if you're not a complete fuckin' jerk.

Were you born an asshole, or did some event make you that way?

In the strictest sense, you are right, that is the literal definition of "sushi" in Japanese. However, fish, rice, and condiments such as wasabi, soy sauce, and ginger are considered part of the authentic sushi experience among the Japanese, while the fancy multicolored rolls with mayo and such are a hybrid creation…

The Nutella on buns I can see as not being that weird, as I like to put it on saltines, so it's really just another carb. I think with my preference the saltiness is key, though, gotta have the sweet/salty combo, so a hot dog bun is a little weird in that regard.

Probably fucks babies too.

Jesus Christ. Her father sounds like a paranoid dipshit who thinks a woman will slice off a man's balls if she's ever allowed to hold a knife.

Heyyy, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around?

I'd argue that it depends on what you mean by "char" - a steak that's seared on the outside but pink inside is awesome.

I love the word "kerfuffle". It's an inherently funny word.

Oh, I also got Piece Pizza in Chicago, which is phenomenal thin-crust (the place serves good craft beer too). I just don't think of thin-crust when I think "Chicago style".

It is weird, they also wouldn't get the bit about the CD player in the car:

Yeah, I was once like that, when I was a little kid. Then I stopped being a pussy who was afraid of pink meat.

I always did think it would be fun to pull up to someone and do the ol' "Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" bit, for shits and giggles.

They do it right! I've only been to Chicago once, but I'm very much a fan of their philosophy on hot dogs.

Fair enough. I'm a sushi purist. I like fish. I like trying different kinds of fish. I find the fancy dragon rolls and [insert the name of your city here] rolls to be an abomination.

That might all be well and true, but again, I don't find it all that earth-shattering.