“Fuck.”

Does not filing criminal charges help or hurt your chances of winning a civil trial in cases like these?

An Open Letter To Eveyone Bitching In The Comment Section Of This Post: ARE YOU CRAZY?!! We got a hockey post! A good one, too! With not one, but two videos! And you guys are shrieking and nitpicking at the author?! Do you want hockey to disappear from Deadspin entirely?!

Yeah, I was just busting the OP’s balls a little. Imagine being stupid enough to rat on your bookie, only to end up in a holding cell with him...

This was even more hilarious because my bookie promised me Explosions In My Kneecaps by coincidence if North Carolina didn't win by 2.5. I highly recommend local law enforcement syncing the two.

[await judgement]

/fucking dying +1

Well, now we know he’d assault a player. The question remains, though, would he haze?

+15

You guys like empty net goals? Have I got a sport for you!

Jesus, was he ever not bald?

Rest them? Sure, I guess. I don't want to be the one to break it to Draper & Redford, though...

SEVEN-FOOT MAN WITH EXTREMELY LONG ARMS PUSHES BALL THROUGH TEN-FOOT HIGH RIM FOR THE ONE HUNDRED THOUSANDTH TIME. ANNOUNCER, PAID TO DO SO, OVERREACTS WITH SHITTY, UNIMAGINATIVE CALL. MORONS SLURP IT UP!

But it'd be way funnier watching packs of assholes trying to storm the ice and fall all over the fucking place while the players & refs skated away to safety.

Yes he was.

Please tell me you don't actually listen to this shit.

Can’t see highlights like that anywhere else! What a great site this has become!

Ha! +1

Incident At 66.6 F