Ha! +1

[goes to NBA online store]

“COCKS THE HAMMER POINT BLANK, AND PULLS THE TRIGGER!!!”

HE’S AS SLEEK AS A FACKIN’ PAWPISS!!

DAMN YOUR LIGHTNING FINGERS, TALLYWACKER!!!!!

It’s the way they strike the ball that hard, and still manage to make it simultaneously curve and dip. It’s like pulling a 1-iron out of the bag and bending a perfect, low, 250 yard screamer around a dog leg and rolling it right up on the green.

Jesus. That second ball. Right on the guy’s shoelaces!

Trump/Barnes 2016!

Love the way Gam Newton there spreads his arms and blows kisses at the crowd instead of running back & hugging Rami for that gorgeous ball.

What was your best plagiarism moment? Mine was ‘84, 8th grade Honors English. We had to write a poem, and I couldn’t be bothered to try. So I just lifted the first verse of Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper” and jammed it right in the middle of my shitpile of pubescent idiocy. The whole fucking thing backfired on me though,…

CRIS CARTER CASUALLY SUGGESTS CRIS CARTER USED TO SMOKE PCP

Oh, Christ. +1

I knew it sounded familiar. Thanks for saving me the agony of not remembering where.

Meaningless hot taek here, but dammit, the NFL needs the Oakland Raiders. If you move the team (again), change the name.

Ha! +1

I was imagining Buffalo deli owners jumping up & down and hugging each other in the middle of the street.

Quite a wide right hand man.

/fucking dying +1