You were on a reality show?!? Which one? What was it like? Did they murder anyone??? (Sorry, I’m watching too much UnReal).

*secret Arab handshake*

All this “future president” stuff is nice but can’t someone just for once support my six year old’s dream of being a cheetah marathon runner?

Me too! It is all my daughter wears. It just washes and wears so well.

He then went on to warn people about getting scam emails from Nigerian princes, reminding them that they don’t have princes and are ruled by that big talking Lion.

The little one in the third picture is one intense baby.

FUCKING GENIUS

Eh. He was 4 when the song came out. And fine. I’ll admit it. I’ve never heard of this song. Not just the name, either. I looked it up on YouTube. Nada. No recognition. Never heard it. To be fair though, I was born in ‘82 and my parents listened to 50s/60s music on the radio as I was growing up, so 70s music…

Apparently the trick is to slightly enlarge a photo before handing your phone to someone. If they try to swipe, they’ll just slide the photo around.

Looks like we’re posting animal gifs, here’s one of my faves:

I always freak out when I try to show people a single picture and they start trying to scroll. I let them think it's weird naked shit, but it's really just shit tons of selfies with my cats I don't want them to see.

Oprah’s playing Deb!

Girl, read the book by Rebecca Skloots. It will change your life.

I just always operated under the assumption Ashton Kutcher was just one huge dick.

There’s only so many times you can write “on my couch, eating cheese” before you start to have to seriously reevaluate your life and I am NOT ready for that.

It’s rated PG-13. Don’t bring your 7 year old. That’s rude. And if you do bring them, teach them how to respect the personal space of others. You (here being parent of child) are responsible for doing that, cause you made that kid.

I think it’s obvious to all that the dipshit with the gun was the far greater asshole.…

It’s actually Welsh, therefore it’s pronounced ‘Steve’.

Yosemite Sam.

Her dress in the header image looks like a very long disposable bib that they give you at the dentist.