And he will then craft aluminum foil dicks!

All in favor of making Anthony Wiener live in a Faraday Cage, say aye.

It’s pretty obvious at this point that the only option for him is surgical castration (with an ice cream scoop) followed by a lifetime regimen of chemical castration drugs administered via an IV feed with a reservoir the size of lake Superior and a pump capable of emptying an olympic sized swimming pool in 3 minutes…

Never let a mongoose use a cellphone. My granddad taught me that when I was knee high to a mongoose.

Trust that Weiner will find a way.

You just KNOW this creep looked out his window (that probably has a pillow covered window seat with matching drapes), jumped on his bed, pulled the covers over his head, and starting crying to his mommy, “This is SO UNFAIRRRRR MOMMY!! Everybody hates me now!!!”

I still can’t get beyond the father’s remark about it being “a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action”.

The guy in the white shirt: Open carrying, Guy Fawkes mask, neckbeard, black ankle socks and cargo shorts. We’ve reached peak...something.

I love this. While I'm uncomfortable with the guns and the suggestion of payback, it's quite nice to see typically right-wing characters take a stand against rape. Maybe we can get along after all.

No need to drag the decent state of Kentucky into this

It’s the antenna for a shock buzzer implanted by Putin.

Sounds like he really hit a wall.

I’m guessing that’s Eric Cantor and they’re both high as hell, laughing hysterically and prank calling Ryan.

No, that's the smoke from the burning fire of freedom

As part of a lengthy parole, they should make him wear an ankle bracelet that senses the presence of women in his vicinity and broadcasts a warning. “I’m a rapist! Run away! I’m a rapist! Run away!” Then it delivers a dose of date rape drugs to him and he passes out wherever he might be. He must also carry a pack of…

Oh god I hope it gets crashed. I hope he gets punched on the sidewalk, gets bedbugs at the hotel, is selected for an enhanced pat down at the airport, is seated next to a loud talker on the plane, that their welcome home BBQ gets crashed by survivors and their loved ones, and that his steak gives him some sort of rare…

With the way these things seem to end up, he’ll probably be a Congressman one day.

There’s more room now that Ann Coulter has crawled out.

You are anything I may choose to call you, love.

I don’t know the exact definition of “excoriate,” either, but I like to think it’s similar to “exfoliate,” only with a lot more blood and screaming.