Shut your whore mouth! He can and he will! Nay, he must.

Grisly? Man.

No, it's the same Tony Danza from 12 Years A Slave and The Iron Lady.

It says a lot that I made a similar joke in 1983. There is a book I have on the show Taxi. They also make that joke.

What we need are more good guys with a van.

My Own Planet Idaho is my favorite B-52's song.

I was joking. She is a Japanese performance artist.

Frogurt too?

What do you think his farts smell like?

Megyn Kelly is white, kids. She just is.

Beyonce used to babysit me when I was 35 years old. True story.

I love their older stuff. Their newer stuff lacks punch.

Sonny & Bono?

Are you Batman?

Timmy and Lauren.

That's too bad. I thought gimmick accounts were safe unless someone is a total fucking prick. It always made me smile too. Like the real guy.

There used to be a gimmick poster named Furst with a smiling photo of him who would post Furst. Weird that I thought of him- the gimmick poster that is.

I Just farted. I told you news. Where is my interview? You know what I don't want it. Kelly is an awful person. Even more awful than my stinky three degree alarm microburst.

Disgraceful. We are still so fucked up as a country. Just, fuck.

Fucked?