I swear that dogs have a special sense for when their protection/support is needed. My family's dog always knows if you're sad and will come to where you are and just sit and press her body against yours however she can, or if she can she'll hop up on the couch/chair where you're sitting and climb into your lap. …

Carry on, my wayward nuns. There'll be peace when you are done.

Yup. Ever hear the people getting off the train from Springfield? Accents! They have accents!

I present for your analysis Paul Ryan.

For you, a present.

I bet Obama thinks that pretty often.

Fuck you.

Why would you do this? Fuck you guys

You are older than:

I think the best life lesson I got from Catholic school is that I literally will not wear skirts and dresses without wearing a pair of shorts underneath, because I am still paranoid about people seeing my underwear.

I would watch an hour of him, Emma Stone, Stephen Merchant and JGL lip synch. Stephen Merchant's Single Ladies rendition is a thing of beauty.

I have one! One night, while working as a hostess, I was doing my job and about to sit a party. A group of men in their 30s was leaving the restaurant. I say goodbye to them and thank them for their patronage while starting to lead the other party inside. At this moment, I fell a hand under my dress grab my butt…

Ed Debevic's. Super touristy. Which is exactly where you need the latitude to be an asshole.

The best part is that the same people who use this insult eat fast food on the regular. If the workers didn't exist, they wouldn't get they're quick lunches in time to be back at the office before their lunch break is up. I wish that every person was required to work a service job for 6 moths of their life…

I read the phrase elimination communication and had a conscious uncoupling from my sanity.

Imma let you finish but Les Stroud is the greatest survivalist of all time. OF ALL TIME

You can't get a show like this made for women. I know a fair amount about the industry and execs and networks do not want to put women in these roles, nor do they want to finance shows in which women are survivalists. The view is that the market they're trying to attract is men, and men would rather watch men do these…

True story, and SUPER-TMI:

What the hell are you talking about? It was Biden who came out for marriage equality before Pres. Obama and it was, in fact, his comments on Meet the Press that pushed the president to support it in 2012.

The short answer is the simplest, and the one that will get me the most shit on Deadspin: the patriarchy. Police departments are overwhelmingly male, and have been taught by a misogynist society from birth that their experiences are valid, but experiences that differ from their own are either suspicious or fictional.…