I have a severe Steve Glutenburg allergy. It requires me to bring my own toaster.

Accountant and Engineer are also up there.

Kilometers? Sorry, I’m an American; how many gallons is that?

“All taxation is theft! It’s MY property!”

I’m sorry, if you get DUI it’s your own damn fault. Yes, people should avoid overserving, but know your own limits (who thinks it’s safe to have 7 margaritas and drive?!) instead of thinking some sub-minimum wage employee also busy serving other people (who has no way of knowing if you’re driving, either- cabs and…