Real talk - has anyone ever found anything good at Payless? I have tried many times but like.....if you hate them the minute they’re on your feet, for both comfort and aesthetic reasons, there’s no reason to bring that shit home.

You know what’s great about being a Dad? Everybody KNOWS you’re not perfect and that’s okay. Because... you know... you’re a Dad. Isn’t it funny how shitty stereotypes cause irreparable harm to women and people of color? Yet, benefit the hell out of lazy, white dads?

I wish a some of my friends and family would want me to know it’s totally okay not to be a mom. I could do without their sad sighs. I’m okay, stop being sad because for the 10 millionth time: I DON’T WANT TO BE A MOM.

Others replied that I was being a dick for not thinking it was funny.

Same here. I really like her. Not in a campy way, not ironically, genuinely like her.

Free Kesha.

If my attorney said some shit like that I’d fire him.

Kesha is someone I started out thinking “No.” about and was completely wrong. Team Kesha here.

Seriously. I can’t be bothered to fold ONE hand towel before throwing it on the towel rack.

If we’re basing it on tattoos, his brand/image appears to be trapper keeper that’s been in the family for generations. “Aww” fits right in!

the WORST ones are the ones with any kind of embroidery. my parents’ upstairs bathroom has a “beach” theme, and my mom got these tiny hand towels with seashells embroidered on them. but you can’t dry your hands with them!! it’s just scratchy embroidered thread!!

My 15 year old brother decorates his room with seething rage and b.o. It’s a desolate wasteland of stink in that place.

The hardest part about going all out on a costume is finding a party where it will be appreciated. It’s not as much fun being the only badass in a room full of witch hats and devil horns.

How much of a person fail am I if this sounds kind of appealing? Because my mom is NOT THE ONE to go to for problems in my life.

Other eye : “Let’s put him a little friend right here. Everyone needs a friend. <pats shoulder squirrel>“

*quietly, in a soothing voice* I’m just gonna paint a happy little wing on the corner of my eye here...there we go....

Hug toll is the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s just like that guy in high school who’d always be like “what? I don’t get a hug?”

I’m a guy, and this horrifies me more than I can express.

“As you rape your wife don’t look her at her face, trust me guys, that’s just awkward.”

What 26-year-old man other than a sexual abuser and/or rapist would be even remotely interested in a 14-year-old child? That’s something I will never understand.

I broke up with a friend who, as I was crying from being exhausted by the sexual harassment I was receiving in a muslim country on vacation, told me “you should be happy you’re getting attention, no one is even paying attention to me”. Fuck her and her fucking face.