I blame the Daleks and the Cybermen.

You shouldn't be allowed to force someone to carry a baby.

Wouldn't it be kind of amazing if Miley was actually this total goody-two-shoes who doesn't drink or smoke weed because she's secretly afraid of getting in trouble.

Good thing they don't use cameras, y'know, being modern tech and all that.

The universe called and it wants its carbon back, 'cause he's wasting it.

I would have had a hard time not kicking him in the face as hard as I could.

Finally! I've always wondered about Dane Cook's origin story.

"crust-ache?!" Where has this descriptor been my whole life??

If Mr. Rosso is your mailman, you give him an iPad.