Eh, it's no "Well, they'll take your soul if you let them /
Oh yeah, but don't you let them."

British charts don't count! Getting a #6 hit single in England only means you've sold 80 copies. (And 19 of those will be returned.)

Finale? Officially, the show is still only "on hiatus" and being "retooled," hater.

KER-BLAMMO

In fairness, the soldiers were only following an Orderly.

Jerry Lewis in Hardly Arbeit Macht Frei!

These jokes are disgusting. They burned the corpses to a cinder, fellas.

Tragically, Jerry never got funding for the planned sequel, Mr. Magorium's Crematorium.

Ickity ackity oop.

Not all ladies continue sucking down a piece of spaghetti in one uninterrupted wet slurp after marriage.

YES ALL CAPS

I will not watch any movie until I am assured the cats in it are totally scrutable.

Give credit where credit is due — he really liked Mrs. Pell's fish sticks!

This just seems like LeBron James claiming that basketball isn't his passion, he's really secretly interested in horticulture above all else…

"For Your Consideration: Does Greek Mythology Have a Rape Problem?"

RIP Owen Hart. I was watching on TV the night he fell from the rafters.

If Roddy Piper used steroids, he used the shittiest, most watered-down steroids on the market. Piper's huge success was entirely personality-driven. Too bad it's not possible for WWE to synthesize that, and inject it into talented athletes like Cesaro, Kingston, Neville, Ziggler, etc.

That wasn't Marley, that was Vicki Lawrence's ill-fated attempt to increase her Rastafarian fan base.

He invented "finching."

Who can forget JD Salinger's classic novel, Catch Her in the Brown Eye?