Or you could rent a vintage Dustbuster. In Brown.

All well and good, but Scott turned what was one of the most graceful, gorgeous bodies ever built into a horror show. I don’t care how fast it is, kid. Go buy a used Kia Rio.

First, James Taranto’s statement is the stupidest thing any college graduate ever said. Second, I have plenty of liquor onhand for this cavalcade of cunning stunts.

Tortorella. Once won a cup, now deranged.

It stays on the ice. And that doesn’t mean the cocktail Kessel was probably holding.

Trump as presidential candidate is a travest. Don King has 4 brain cells left. Sharpton as representative of the black community is a travesty.

3 pedals. Very liberated.

There went Greece’s entire 2016 defense budget.

Hey Tyler! Wanna borrow my camber gauge?

I commend you for the use of ‘mastermind’ and ‘Kentucky’ in the same sentence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZeFDe44Ddo

Hang it on the rearview. Seriously, my girlfriend plunks hers on the center console of her CRV. It makes a nice armrest.

I’ll wager the parents of these poor kids remember to take their fucking cell phone when leaving the car.

Except it’s not a joke.

You count off at every red light? That's more tedious than waiting a couple more second.

Or quinoa maybe,

And here we are, 50 years later....

Sarcasm, sir. Sar-casm.

Football players never rape.

The ref is lucky he wasn’t raped while unconscous.