As an aside, thank you for not spoiling the video by posting a gif of it.

Why does this not have more stars?

No teeth to get bugs in!

I work in a hospital. You want me showering twice a day when I’m on.

All good points. Alas, the historical and medical research papers I write don’t lend themselves to the use of anecdotes.

Hate your boss!

Can I have one of these for those people who take up more than one space?

I remember my high school physics teacher saying that gravity exists because without it, we’d all be floating around. That’s at least part of the reason why I didn’t get too far in college physics.

I’d really like to know how one juliennes an avocado pit.. or any pit for that matter.

Combined with the power of @TayandYou.. oh dear god..

But without the unnecessary words, how will I reach my professor’s word count requirement?

I definitely wasn’t directing that at you, since I have no idea how you eat your food. Plain steak is boring to me too, but I just season it with a little salt and pepper to, I guess, accentuate the flavor of the meat, as opposed to using a strong condiment whose character overpowers it.

There’s the Asian supermarket nearby that sells these loaves of bread that taste like croissants, but in big, thick, chewy slices. The crust is on the good side of burnt, while the inside remains golden, sweet, and chewy. Warm it up in the toaster oven (don’t toast it, or it just becomes crunchy!), and I swear, it’s…

I’m not making any assumptions about your particular dietary habits, but I find that taste gets out of whack when you put so much shit on your food to give it more flavor. This might stem from eating something terrible so of course it makes sense to season it, but then you get so used to the seasoning that you’re no…

Why does this paint job look like a flock of seagulls took exception to this car?

Well I’ll be. I only paid attention to the first ten words, but I found that I could recall each one when the loci flashed at the end.

I wonder if this stuff is meant for use on race cars. Works just fine without wipers at 50mph in a good rain, but at 150mph+?

Wouldn’t it just play at 2x the speed if you were doing 90mph though?

Visualized:

Let’s just cut to the part where all physical contact except for the removal of flags from the opponent’s belt is ruled illegal, and make the sport completely safe. Entertainment value is maybe a quarter of what it is now, but then we don’t have to worry about whether it’s good for people’s long term health. I’m…