Good thing Jezebel is pure and ad-free!!!!!!!1

How is that so different from what jezebel does? You advertise products with copy that generally reads like: “ OMFG you guys this new hair straightener is my EVERYTHING”.

I’m calling it now: that kid will rebel against his or her parents by growing up to become an accountant.

I always hated when my ex used to say “we are having a baby” to anyone who was pointing my belly whenever I was pregnant.

That’s because the cats are all still hiding in the corner of the attic that is invisible to human eyes. They are all fine, and disdain your concern. They’ll come out when they’re ready.

Cats work for the devil. They headed out of town ages ago, without even looking back.

A Montage of Prattfalls.

That poor fetus will become screwed up child.

How about calling local media and saying “WE’RE OPEN IF ANYONE NEEDS SHELTER! PLEASE DIRECT PEOPLE TO COME HERE” Get on Twitter & FB and let people know.

Any church or other religious organization that is physically capable of offering shelter during a disaster and doesn’t should have its tax-free status automatically revoked. They should have to pay taxes like any other business until they can prove their charitable value to the community.

And 7 million more who regularly watch his broadcasts. (Insert head exploding GIF)

There’s a woman I went to school with who posted a status update about a year ago that she had finally fulfilled her lifelong dream, one that she had nurtured throughout her childhood in an incredibly poor African country. That dream? To go to a service at Lakewood fucking Church. The top of my head blew clear off

Bargain bin Benedict Cumberbatch ass

When I was little, my mom bought me a comic book that showed me how deal with these weirdos.

Yes, exactly. The evangelical wing wanted him to stop the military from paying for transition surgeries, but dummy misunderstood and tweeted out his ban.

I am convinced that Trump only appointed Mattis because his nickname is “Mad Dog.” The man is far too competent to be mixed in with the rest of the drooling troglodytes in the cabinet.

That would honestly be a huge blow, Mattis is one of the few holdouts who actually have a level head and the capacity to at least minimize Trump’s damage.

A draft-dodging chickenhawk who insults POWs, gold-star families, and injured and disabled vets.

This is the same Donald who thinks sexual assault should be expected in the military when it puts women and men together. He’s a draft-dodging chickenhawk who uses bigotry to pretend to be tough. He’s pathetic and his base loves it.