“masturbatorium”......

M’s fan, can confirm. Ichiro’s BP was why you came out early.

I remember hearing that Ichiro used to hit bombs in BP and was more of a line drive hitter in game on purpose. Ohtani’s swing seems like if Ichiro said fuck it, chicks dig the long ball.

“The 76ers pulled away from a sleepy and defeated Hornets team Sunday afternoon...”

She also pointed out when the teacher accidentally left the test answers on the blackboard.

I bet that lady from the NCAA also loved reminding her teachers that they had forgotten to assign homework before spring break.

“During climax the bee becomes paralysed, the endophallus explodes & rips off as bee backflips, & it dies.”

I can’t decide whether he looks more like a guy who wacks people, or the kind of guy who has people wacked.  

Apparently Gianni Versace faked his own death.

Imagine how often they would have to bleep out the N word if this game was at Fenway.

He’s magnificent. Few can pull-off the third person like Zlatan. He has an irrevocable license to do so.

Dear Los Angeles,

The only thing that scares me about Michigan is the water. And maybe the winter.

“But I thought that plan was stupid, and went and got Jimmy G.”

My money is on Trump

Even when he does hit Kennedy’s fingers, there’s no lasting damage, since he never hits the same place twice.

“$127,896,600 million in 5 seasons.”

Vikings have a long tradition of marrying themselves to cousins.

-1 for using the Cape instead of the opportunity to use Mahtha’s Vineyahd.

If you’re a Kennedy, you just get the whole thing annulled when things go bad.