I do remember the Gilbert Gottfried joke. I think it worked (though everyone was super offended at it) cause it wasn’t mocking those who were dead; it was expressing an anxiety that wasn’t gonna be an isolated attack, but the start of something bigger.

I have never had any interest whatsoever in a threesome. I’m not morally opposed but I suspect it’s like showering with a partner—one of you is always standing away from the water, feeling chilly with shampoo in your hair.

I find planned ones are very very tricky, organic threesomes and moresomes are, in my experience, very touchy feely (drugs were involved too tho) and lots of kissing went on my planned one was so silly and awful I can dm you my silly story about it if you want.

And now I’m sad because giraffes ain’t hurt nobody.

Who here was aware of this?

Jesus. What are you, a “Democrat” from 1865? 1962?

Come on down for our Pearl Harbor Day sale! We’re going kamikaze this December 7th with a blowout spectacular that will live in infamy!

I gasped like a pearl-clutching church lady at that part. These smug assholes should be ashamed of themselves. They probably aren't though, so hopefully they feel it in the sales where it hurts.

Bush did ask us to go shopping in the days after 9/11, so there is that.

If you don’t spend money, the terrorists have won!

The title and the gimmick are bad enough. But knocking the towers of mattresses over and her smirking “we’ll never forget” is absolutely vile. These people suck.

We all know that’s not as disrespectful as quietly sitting down during the national anthem. Geez.

I really hope 9/11 sales don’t become a Thing, like Veterans Day and Memorial Day sales. Then again, what's more patriotic than spending money on a day that's supposed to be for remembrance and reflection? /s

This was delightful. And thanks for the reassurance that Bobby is fine, if possibly embarrassed about a coffee order!

Oh my god. That would be epic!

I would pay money, like real pay per view money to see that moderation and debate.

The only moderator I will allow is Samantha Bee.

Peter Thiel’s influence has a rippling effect, I see.