I remember Shelley Duvall from Fairy Tale Theatre. Anyone else watch that?

I work at a department store, and I suspect the vast majority of those comments are sincere. No one shops more at Nordstrom than Nordstrom clerks, who spend all day looking at clothes and plotting ways to combine sales and coupons so they can pay as little as possible for them. When I say, “Oh, this is so cute!” I…

My little sister—ok, 46—died 6 years ago this Thursday of breast cancer. I am so lucky (I guess) to have a group of friends who have experienced that kind of loss because we can say EXACTLY this kind of thing to each other. One of them said that this kind of experience means you live in a different country and only…

Same. My mom’s neighbor called last week basically to say, “all she wants to do is lay in bed and eat doritos.” and I’m like, “okay, so I will bring her more doritos. It’s fine.”

Can we get a ruling on “totes McGotes?”

The best thing about it is it’s truly that; a freaking fee! She doesn’t actually need a penny of it. I love her so much. May I study at her Fuck This Shit University.

“Crybaby” is my favorite. Such a slinky undervalued gem.

I would give up one of my less vital organs to have been a fly on the wall when Ted Cruz got the news about the Trump tape. I’m sure his response was priceless. That poor dumb, sad sack of shit.

The Mitt Romney nostalgia really is the weirdest feeling. That and the fact that I now find G.W. adorable, even as I still am repulsed by his wars.

I think about how fashed I used to get about Mitt Romney possibly becoming president, and I laugh at how innocent I was. I miss those days.

What’s his name? My cat’s name is Harry Potter because he has black fur and green eyes. Also because I let my grandkids name him.

My husband and I bought new couches recently and while it was exciting because our old couches are terrible neither of us felt romantic after, we went to In & Out instead

I was in the direct path of Hurricane Katrina, on the gulf coast of Mississippi. I have seen death and smelled death for many weeks. Stay safe, Floridians, Georgians, South Carolinians, and anyone else in the path of this destructive storm. Our thoughts are with you.

Personally, I can’t wait for Kellyanne Conway to jump ship.

My DAD is voting for him. Makes me want to cry.

The kill yourself bothered me a bit. While I get the sentiment, it’s too much like the shit kids get told in high school. Let’s not let this be thought of as funny.

Hello internet stranger,

That’s true. Now it only pulls the attention away from his very legitimate grievance.

Perfect opportunity to end the dumb middle school fight and call him. Life is too short for stupid fights if you really care about the person -- whether it’s now or later, something may happen and that’ll be the end of any chance to reconcile.

Willam 2016!