anyone going stroke for stroke with john holmes is going to have a long day

God yes. It's fucking McDonalds. You could be in a coma and still recite the menu.

I see you've met my brother in law. He's even less pleasant than you'd think.

Any drive-thru, in front of me:

Its been my experience that nothing good ever happens when you wait until the last minute to start pulling things out.

I treat every trip to Walmart like a raid - you get in, do violence on the objective and get the fuck out, you stick to the list, don’t make eye contact and do your best to ignore the fat fucktard with the Glock on his hip in frozen foods.

In their defense, it did have a girl in it!

Imagine the rich and complex inner lives of the kind of people who are still raging about a solid B+ superhero movie 4 months later.

This explains the correlation between the poor health of the southern states and who they all vote for.