I remember the guy in Pay to Manning was hung like a horse, but he had the worse O-O-O-Omaha! face!

Nah. Ron runs riverboats, not trains.

I’m disappointed there aren’t more football parodies, like I Cam Three Times and Pay to Manning: The Rentboy Chronicles and He Surprised Me in the Kubiak.

Under his sheet.

Mind your own vagina, please.

Um, Derrick? You can buy ENTIRE JARS.

Not directed at you, you just brought up a great point. I wish we could stop with this “marriage isn’t taken lightly”. It is. We have countless celebrities marrying for publicity and non-celebs marrying because they got drunk in Vegas, needed someone to split the rent and so forth.

They won’t do this because they’re too stupid to admit they’re wrong, but even this explanation wouldn’t fly at this point - as many people have pointed out, if you think someone has a bomb, you don’t fuck around with it in the room while you waste time interrogating the kid, you evacuate the school immediately and…

Same. I’m also amazed that they haven’t even managed a “we were doing what we thought was best for the safety of our student body at the time, but we’re sorry for the humiliation and fright our caution has caused Ahmed” pseudo apology yet. Would it kill them to fake some compassion here? They put a kid through some…

I think he had an intent.

It’s Texas.

I also realize the only reason my cats keep me around is because I can open things for them. When they learn how I’m going to have to put childlocks on things.

Looks like at least lions are overcoming this opposable thumbs thing.

We’re not here just to entertain you!

Once, when my family and I were on a boating trip on the west coast, we dropped a crab pot to see if we could catch a crab for dinner. When we pulled it up we instead got a giant, 22 armed red and purple starfish with its stomach out, slowly digesting our bait (half a can of tuna).

And, to be fair, I need much better training when guests are over.

It was the Glee of political dramas.

To be fair it is made of Soviet steel. It probably rusted before it went into the water.

Color television in every country except the United States. Only the US had color television before 1957. Most countries had their first color broadcasts in the mid/late 1960s.