He only had the most stressful job in the fucking world for eight fucking years. He’s a fucking private fucking citizen and can do whatever the fuck he wants.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but a black hockey player scored in the game last night...

It must be such a relief for all those lifelong Las Vegas Knights fans to dunk on all the haters and doubters. God knows they’ve had to endure so much!

Our bodies are not built to fight large cats. We have thin skin that doesn’t do a good job protecting our vitals from large claws and huge teeth. We’re good at problem solving and throwing things, and we’re built to do some physical things quite well, but fighting large cats and bears is not what we excel at.

You went to K State. A lot more than 5 minutes has been stolen from you.

I’ve never seen the Caps be so aggressive every minute of every game. The get two bad penalty calls and fall behind, and in past years they’d just start playing on their heels. But this year they just keep fighting between the blue lines, minimize penalties (and did the officials not notice that Kunitz launched off…

You must not be a caps fan, you’re way to optimistic.

Woah, a guy the Habs misused going on to success elsewhere? Never heard that before.

I guess one reason would be that he’s a blustery dipshit incapable of analyzing a children’s movie, so I’m not really interested in his opinions on heavier topics like Islam

the part where he says frozen is part of a french academic conspiracy against masculinity, feminists secretly want to be brutalized by muslims, it’s good for two year olds to be hurled from the top of jungle gyms, and it’s impossible to know anything without first acknowledging Jesus as your savior pretty much sums up…

“you need to acknowledge jesus as your savior to believe anything” “frozen is part of a cultural marxist conspiracy to destroy western men” “all women secretly want to be brutalized by muslims” and “it is good for a child’s development to be thrown off the monkey bars by a strange adult if they are insolent on the…

The Chaos Dragon’s breath can’t melt steel beams.

If you have all the draft picks, the other teams will eventually grow old and die. You have to think long-term, sheeple.

put it straight into my veins

“See guys? Not so easy keeping two sets of books,” -Bernie Madoff.

And when Orioles fans tell you that, you’re in trouble.

That’s just...astoundingly Metsy.

“Who the fuck is Tom Brady?”

You don’t have to be American to be a real American hero.

The Mets are 12-3, -and the Nots were due. Not sure this game was worth all the ink.