yeah, chicken, rabbit, duck and snail

The grand scheme of whose things? You? I guess. The rabbit’s? In the rabbit’s grand scheme of things, this dude is a fucking hero.

Guys look!

Its the life of the party!

Funnily enough, his ‘win’ could ensure he’s not able to replace Melania until he’s too old to care. She didn’t want the role, but a 4-year stretch (god help us all) could ensure she’s the true & final Widow Trump.

Once they open the books I’m pretty sure she isn’t going to be a wealthy widow.

... and if she really is redefining the role, then she should stop wearing that stupid FLOTUS cap

Rich widow, poor widow, black widow... We’ll take whatever form we can get!

We all want Melania to be a wealthy widow.

Voter suppression and gerrymandering is SO real though

Correct response is correct. Like the Shrub before him, he was declared the winner by a secondary system too mired in the past to accept current reality.

Honestly, people using “me and so-and-so” as a subject bothers me a lot less than people using “so-and-so and I” as an object. With the former, it mainly sounds like someone is trying to sound informal and conversational. With the latter, it sounds like someone is trying to sound proper and blowing it. And I hear the…

“She goes, ‘Listen to me, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life if you don’t take this gift and just live in the moment.”

Testimony is evidence, by which I mean it is legally considered a kind of evidence. If I see someone rob a bank, and I pick that person out of a lineup, that is legal evidence against that person. Whether that, on its own, is SUFFICIENT evidence to convict someone in court, or change your mind, well, that’s a separate…

Yes. Witness/victim statements are evidence.

My kitchen is a pretty peachy pink and it makes my MIL want to vom. I love my kitchen so much. Also, Ikea kitchens? Kind of amazing for the money...

Wine, hell! For a few holidays, we had all kinds of hard liquor and mixers and nobody drank. Not beer, not wine, nothing. I can’t take these people while their sober.

I stole it from a commercial, but it’s a keeper.

Starred for Canadian standoff. I don’t know if you coined the term but I will be swiping it.

They literally don’t listen, and it becomes a Canadian standoff of who can apologize the most while doing exactly what you told them not to.

“...some lame-o is sure to offer to start washing them, and then insisting, and then your glamorous party becomes a hootenany of chores instead of the Algonquin Round Table like you’d hoped.”