She does not have a masters degree. She only ever claimed to have an undergraduate degree and that turned out to be bogus.

He can’t read either.

Definitely the Mountain Dew. Certainly not the lack of running water.

I don’t think “the other woman” should get shit just for being involved with a cheater but SHE IS THE FUCKING WORST.

Most competitive fencing is electric, so that a buzzer goes off when a touch lands. There’s a wire that plugs into your weapon, runs up your arm and out the back, and then clips into a reel.

You forgot the smell of hot garbage.

You and me both. I actually had $750 in my cart and was pretty close to going through with it. But I just can’t buy bras final sale unless it’s in person. Especially since I’m beyond the “standard” sizes where US/UK/European sizes go totally haywire. (Am I a DDD? E? F? WHY CAN’T WE JUST AGREE.)

You and me both. I actually had $750 in my cart and was pretty close to going through with it. But I just can’t buy…

Teachout’s middle name is actually Rain. Ever see them in the same room?

That's a hat trick for women politicians with weather-themed names.

Do not begrime Queens with dedicated mayo shops.

Prince was working on an autobiography :/

In New York (City, at least) it’s something like 6:00am - 9:00pm.

Come to Brooklyn! We have BABY red pandas!

But what he did say was so good!

I took a pretty serious pay cut for a job at a company that doesn’t care when I come in every morning. Great decision. One year later, I’m making more than I likely would have otherwise, and they still don’t care!

They have eucalyptus trees in California BUT NO KOALAS what a ripoff.

I do this almost every time I have to talk to someone on the phone for work. Which happens often. If they’re internal and I know them well I can go off script, but otherwise it’s all written out before I pick up the phone. Thankfully I don’t get too many incoming calls. (And when I do, I usually ignore them, wait for…

That would make me much, much happier.

Marc Jacobs gel crayon eyeliner

I’m not completely clear on what you mean by this. Do you mean that you eat the pizza up to the crust and then stop? Or do you mean that you only eat the pepperonis off of a pepperoni slice?