I prefer to think that she and Hillary are the real couple while their husbands, by contract/connections only, are out womanizing because they can/the marriages are a sham.

Oh, the desperation. It stinks.

I work with a good friend of the Buzzfeed editor who tweeted “don’t pray. Push for gun reform.”

Oh look, another heap of yammering dicks.

Soon they’ll have a binder full of black people.

. . . “huge banners” with “quotes from donors describing their commitment to helping the poor.”

There was 1 black guy though! Republicans now have black friends! Progress!

American beer and sex in a canoe.

They should call it Miller LONG Life, amirite?

Work poops are poops that you get PAID to take, though.

If I hear someone using a cell phone in a multi-stall bathroom I make as much toilety noise as I can to let the person on the other end of the phone know, that the person they’re speaking with is on the pot.

At an office building that I once worked in, there was a bathroom that was down an abandoned hallway. Nobody knew about it, and it was GLORIOUS. I would step away, take as much time as I wanted without anybody barging in, I’d relish in a fleeting moment of solitude then return to work.

Here is the number #1 (no pun intended) rule of etiquette for multi-stall bathrooms: If you are done with your business and the other door that was shut when you got there is still shut, someone is holding onto their poop for dear life, praying that you will hurry up and leave. Please move along. Hopefully someone…

I feel your pain. Multi-stall bathrooms are awful. People talk on the phone and to each other and my sphincters clinch up and I know I’m going to get a UTI or something because EVERYONE SHOULD BE QUIET IN THE BATHROOM.

Also: I have an enormous soft spot for those tiny moments when Kate Middleton lets her guard down and her real self slips through for a fleeting instant. I have a suspicion that, underneath her shiny exterior, she’s an absolutely fucking champion shit-talker.

Yes, but it’s also worth remembering that Kate Middleton also made this face when meeting Idris Elba, which basically translates to “I’m a half a glass of bad chardonnay away from climbing you like a jungle gym, pal,” and you know, there’s a lot to be said for relatability.