NOOOOOO come on Magary. That organic shit is the best. Fuck Jif right in its fucking face.

According to Rich Juzwiak, Ariana Grande is both a Human Cupcake and a Teacup Yorkie. Mystery solved, Blossom!

Everyone can go home now.

Ok, so my boyfriend and I just had this conversation, which was started because he told me his belly button stank. Naturally, I asked, "why in Christ's name are you smelling your belly button?" His response: It's what guys do. Ask anyone. Guy farts, gotta smell it. Guy scratches nuts, gotta smell it. Guy scratches…

Apparently my dad and his brother were driving down the road a long time ago, and saw a chicken crossing the street. The chicken had already cross into the other lane, but what they didn't notice were all her little chicks following in her wake... My dad said it sounded like popcorn :(

Eh, it's cool. All I got is a shitty Macbook and my cats.

Jesus, that's the worst thing I've read today, and I just got through Kluwe's drivel on "Why Deadspin Sucks."

Your team: (sigh)

BRA-VA.

Duh and/or hello

I drive an Impreza, and I'm 27 (28 in August). Is that too early in life? Am I a lesbian now?

Margaritas over Gin.

If Margaritas beat Gin, I may actually cry.

Weed, Adderall, Gin, and Red Wine in the final four.

You guys, I don't think I'll be commenting anymore because I'll just be watching this video for the rest of my life. K bye.

"Hell, abortion kills slightly more people annually than falling vending machines, and you don't see politicians waxing centrist about making Sour Cream N Onion Tater Skins 'safe, legal, and rare.'"

Oh my god, I was thinking exactly the same thing. Her waist isn't really that tiny is it?! WHY AM I SO FAT?!