Ooh the Jim Beam Honey is a great idea! Mine are usually all your ingredients with regular whiskey/bourbon and hot tea instead of water. I'm sick right now and I want a hot toddy so bad.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought this.

They were just packaged frozen calamari rings. We knew they smelled and tasted weird but my dad seemed so proud of himself that he’d found this “new kind” of onion rings that we didn't have the heart to say they were gross.

You should google him. But not if you've eaten recently. Or plan on eating later.

My brother and I were probably teens/pre-teens when my dad served us fried onion rings that were really chewy and had a weird flavor. Turns out that shit was calamari and now I hate it on principle

Elaborate dad lie stories are definitely my fave.

I feel like your dad and mine could have teamed up!

I think I’ll be that way if/when I have kids. When I spend time around my friends’ and family members’ kids I can totally rapid fire Q&A with them. It’s so much easier to make shit up than to say “I don’t know.”

This is the best ridiculous dad/grandpa lie I've read so far! I'd never be able to say something like that with a straight face, so bravo to your grandpa!

I want to make “more sleep and puppies for me!” my refrain whenever people ask me why I don’t have kids.

I’d like to submit the best lie from my childhood, aka The Great NYE Long Con. It was simple, brilliant, well-executed, and I totally plan on using it when I have kids someday.

In my opinion, and my best friend’s, cheap is the way to go, but try to get a 3-pack. As long as you're just trying to get a positive or negative, those are fine, but it's nice to have a backup if you don't trust the results of the first one. I've peed on a few in my lifetime and never paid $15 for a test that told me…

I love opals but I’m so paranoid about scratching them! I have a gorgeous silver Art Deco-ish ring of my grandma’s that has an opal in the middle with a little blue sapphire on either side and I would wear it all the time of I wasn't worried about losing or scratching the stone.

My younger cousin did get the honor of being the only person they told the baby’s name before his birth!

My cousin and his wife found out they were expecting a little before thanksgiving one year, so they framed and wrapped a sonogram picture for my aunt and uncle for Christmas. It was cute, and not covered in pee, but I felt sorry for my younger cousin who had tried to get his parents nice gifts but couldn't top their…

That’s a really good point. She’ll be commenting on outfits as they appear instead of based on who made them.

Shit, $29k a month?! I didn't understand their strategy at first, but now it makes sense to close stores like this and open new, smaller and less expensive ones.

I love her but I don’t know how I feel about this. She admits she knows nothing about fashion, so I assume her commentary will just be constant jokes with no real critique. Not that I look at Fashion Police as a great source of fashion commentary in general. But still. I am super excited to hear about her new show…

I just saw it for the first time recently, along with We’re the Millers, and I thought they were both clever and hilarious. I don't get why people hate on them.

Wait, wasn't she dating Joey yesterday?