When a little kid runs up to you and yells “hi!” you better be just as enthusiastic with your hi back and offer up your hand for a high-five if the situation calls for it. That kid will try to hit the living shit out of your hand and that’s cool. If the child is on a leash, then you stay away from it because it is not…

I’m assuming there was more to this response but you were typing on your iPhone and it didn’t register the next paragraph.

I don’t know, isn’t that a lot like jerking off before sex?

I feel like you’re judging Ike off the “don’t kick the baby” thing from the first few seasons. Ike has gone down on his teacher since and that’s pretty niiiice

That’s actually worth saluting

That’s not the flag sweetheart.

Oh come on, nobody believes you’ve got friends.

Nah bro. He’s not a bully. He is a full blown, pedal to the floor racist. You do not name your Company 0311 anything unless your address is actually 311 something street* (hint his is 0311 Tactical Solutions, LLC 8117 Carlsbad Dr Saint Louis, MO 63123-4815 Local: (314) 313-0917). 311 is code for 3 -11's (can you guess…

“Will have” is litigation-speak for “I already have this but I’m not going to admit it because I want to see if you turn it over in discovery because if you don’t, then I’m going balls-to-the-wall after your ass. In the alternative, I don’t have anything but I want to make sure that whatever you do have gets turned…

I haven’t tried this in a while, but here are all of Drew’s capitalized Funbag words in sequence, with punctuation added so it flows better:

That’s what I’m talking about!

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

And to the other dumbasses, Black organizations and individuals have been doing the work of fighting systemic racism and state sanctioned brutality since before we were considered 3/5ths of a person by the US government. Don’t you ever open your fucking pie hole to disparage us for fighting for equality you musty…

Oh yeah, to the fragile ass White people, it’s your responsibility to fix what your people have done, not ours. We don’t have to hold your hands or make you feel better. If you claim that you aren’t part of the problem, show us, don’t tell us.

Kenyon Martin, the African-American former basketball player, has Chinese tattoos all over his body.

“none of the all-seeing crime-prevention devices happened to flag a man who brought 10 automatic weapons with him to the Strip.”

And then conveniently cut eye holes in and wear for their evening out to the nice cross burning.

It can be rough being the butt of so many fumbled jokes

Really guys? Shouldn’t we put this old joke to bed?

It is always the same old strategy, ignore the message, change it’s meaning and the lazy and brain dead will provide the outrage.