“I would say kudzu, but you’d plant it, go to sleep, and wake up to 500 miles of interstate your entire world completely engulfed.”

Just don’t watch it. More importantly, don’t hate watch it.

Eh, I still remember Lowes catered to the Islamophobes by pulling their ad dollars from a TV show featuring Muslim-Americans. Companies run by insecure white people will cater to these insecure and angry white people.

How do you lump Warren Buffett in with Donald Trump?

Worse. It makes you a regular

While I’m not sure who makes the exact seats coddling the butts of soccer players at this year’s World Cup (since numerous inquiries to Fédération Internationale de Football Association went unanswered)

RX-10

but damn does it look cool!

If you cook a hamburger on a grill and leave it outside in the heat for a couple of hours, you’ll be fine. This is fearmongering. McDonalds uses heat lamps to keep food warm for hours sometimes. The sun is just a larger heat lamp. I follow none of the advice in this article and have never had food poisoning.

Octopii are one of the most intelligent creatures on the planet and are actually required to be put under anesthesia if a procedure is needed to be done on them, because they are believed to have an understanding of what is happening to them.  If kept in captivity, they need to be in specialized tanks because they…

I realize the theatrics are part of the game and judging by reactions a football stud to the ankle is roughly on par with a sniper round to the back but Neymar’s writhing, recumbent samba had me clutching pearls and subconsciously guarding my huevos. My thoughts were not with Neymar but with humanity and specifically…

turbomeganutterbastardcar

Car show bro: “I see you got the ham and bread, but no cheese. Those ingredients are worthless without the cheese. I’m getting twin cheese put in mine, I won’t even need bread. ... No, I don’t actually own a sandwich, but my cousin does and he says you don’t need bread.”

This is chief among the reasons why I refuse to run.

Out of curiosity, what’s your background in contract law? 

[casts stone, sees it not going far enough, runs underneath to catch it, casts again]

There was clearly contact.

wall could’ve been two feet to the right, then that ball hits Biscuits in the face

9 years of abuse