So, according to this chart, cats are the cause of divorce.

Coincidence that it's shaped like a cat? I THINK NOT.

Whaaaaat is going on with his business in that last pic thooooo

Jeah jeah jeah!

See, I think he has the oddest face. A quarter view and a profile view? I think he is gorgeous. Fashion model hot. A straight on front view of his face? His eyes are way too deep set and his nose looks like someone smashed it. It’s not pretty. But it’s the same face! Weird how that works.

I marvel at how fucking hot Ryan Lochte is.

The variance in those bulges begs a closer inspection and I am the woman for that job

They need to make a big screen version of Spartacus, the explicit Starz version. It would make a billion kazillion dollars.

At least a Leverage Christmas special. LONG overdue!

Can’t speak for Jujy but I certainly do. Bill is charming, intelligent, a great conversationalist, funny and appreciative of humor in others, loyal though not faithful (they are different things), well informed, fascinated by other people, and not least, always looks nicely groomed and as if he probably smells good.…

#jizzedinmypants

I was just laughing at the other swimmers being like “It was all Lochte’s idea!” Fair enough, bros, but if we’re honest, you get what you deserve when you accept Ryan Lochte as your idea man.

One minute they're replacing your words in a game, the next they're putting your head in a cage w/ rats and watching you masturbate in the corner.

They. Use. Comic. Sans.

Word. I put my cat, Felix, on a diet one time and he was not happy about it (the fights were terrible) and one evening during the diet, one of my neighbors made me and my boyfriend some pot brownies. I told my boyfriend to make sure the brownies were put away before he went to bed because Felix was on a rampage and…

My auntie made diabetic brownies which uses that artificial sugar you don’t want to eat too much of because it gives you diarrhea and gad something bad. She leaves them out and comes back later to see half the pan was gone. Turns out her husband ate half of the pan by himself. He’s driving down the road when the need…

Truly the best legal advice: be white. And rich if you can swing it.

I build it myself, out of hardwood that I sawed and sanded with the sides of my hands.

New Orleans is dry, the area being flood now is not the same area that was devastated by Hurricane Katrina. What’s flooding now is lots of places that sheltered people who fled NOLA after Katrina hit.

I would hit it like the trigger button on my XBOX when I'm fighting draugrs in Skyrim. Fus-Ro-Do Me, sir.