Anyone NP’ing this one should contact me immediately. I have recently acquired John Voight’s Chrysler LeBaron and am now prepared to part with it for the low low price of $99,999.

Yeah barn find doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. It’s become bullshit used car salesman blather and just makes me suspicious. It's an excuse for a huge gap in maintenance records and isn't a good thing. 

And then you sobered up

Let’s see what we have here... A 34 year-old Bimmer coupe with a bad respray, DOA A/C, an ill-fitting body kit, no center cap on the steering wheel, a cracked taillight lens and a dash toupee covering who-knows-what.  I’d rather pull my fingernails out with a pair of Vise Grips than deal with the future problems of…

Can’t.  Stop.  Watching.

You mean the Supreme court where 5 of the members are Republicans- not conservative- Republicans.

“Let’s see what the Supreme Court decides.”

Eight pages to say fuck you? Sounds like my second divorce....

Supposedly Erdogan was all pissed about Trump not giving him an in-person meeting at some point, and Trump just wanted to get him off the phone so asked if he wanted to invade Syria instead.  And scheduled an in-person meeting.  Trump is literally the worst negotiator in the history of the world. 

Yes, you pretty much have to figure the Ukraine is only the tip of the iceberg. Betcha there’s a dozen or more transcripts of other calls hidden on the “secure server.” 

He’s healthy, but you can’t see his medical exams.

Joey Borowicz actually won the pencil topper. Trump wants a re-take because the teacher was unfair and the dictionary was fake.

It was so perfect it had to be hidden from all eyes,

That’s OK; the sooner we can get through this primary season, the better. If it is Warren, great! Let’s go!

I’m revving up to flip all of the tables. I don’t believe in hell, but I hope there’s a special corner of it reserved for McConnell if it is real.

Tomato this is pretty lazy, even for your low standards. C-

Boy, that escalated quickly!

Trump intends to run against Hillary anyways. Hell half his base will think they’re voting against her.

And McConnell is laughing his way all the way to his dank cavern where he maintains his close communications with China and Russia.