I'm no expert on... well.. anything - but I would assume your chances of kissing anyone with these would be close to zero.

We don't know if he forced her to go back to the hotel room. He could have made her feel so unsafe that she couldn't say no. Please stop victim blaming, you asshole.

The MLS isn't a terrible product anymore. A couple teams could probably play in the premiership and not get relegated, and a couple teams would do pretty well in the bundesliga. But here's the kicker, if you start supporting the MLS, football in America can start putting real money down on stars and more importantly,…

Jesus. Europe and MLS aren't an either/or thing. You can watch the Europe teams in the morning, and then watch the local MLS team at night, it's not like you can't support both.

Or DO support the MLS so that you can actually attend games and have a reason to be rooting for a team rather than just bandwagoning onto Arsenal, Bayern or Chelsea just because you've heard the name or because they were on TV the first time you tried to watch international soccer!

Ironically, it creates an ironic invocation of irony.

How ironic is that use of ironic?

This was horrible. I mean these fans were having a good time minding their own business, when all of a sudden a bunch of strangers barge in invading their space, trying to force their beliefs on them, calling them names and leaving the fans feeling totally denigrated and completely attacked.... wait...

What an absolute class act. He couldn't have handled the situation any better. You really gotta hand it to Evan Meek for grooving that pitch in to Jeter.

Attention bad tippers: Paris Hilton is now a better person than you are. BOOM.

I don't normally believe in conspiracy theories, but they fucking let him do that. Lollipop pitch and the catcher didn't even try to make a play.

Good luck in the playoffs...

déjà vu

Sorry but there's no intelligent discourse with people whose opinion is "My sky friend told me you shouldn't do that".

After this aired it was announced that South Park will be suspended for three weeks.

Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

The group of Waldos won the fight 4-0, prompting the United fans to buy more strikers. The United fans did nothing to shore up their defense.

Shockingly, the Manchester United fans came out strong on the offensive but had nary a defense for the counterattack.

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, DAD.